On a High!

Well, didn't know about this combination until recently. Came down with fever and my mom handed me some new tablet to fight the fever. I don't know if it did, but the combination of this fever and this new tablet definitely gave me a very pleasant high. And its pretty long lasting. So now I have discovered a new and free way of getting high. It has a better effect than beer too! And on top of that, if you have someone special to keep you company and some really good music; well what more can you ask for especially on a weekend when you are bored anyway.

Move over Mallya, it is the days of the infectious bacteria. Fly the good times while firmly rooted on the ground.

This T-shirt just cracked me up

Get a load of this T-shirt. Its absolutely gross, but it cracks me up.

Click here.

Ten Random Things About me that you SHOULD know

1. When I was still about five months old, my sister apparently got jealous that I was getting all the attention in the house. All the guests were all clucking their tongues and making all the cooing sounds at the crib to make me smile. One day, she walked up to my crib and and bit my nose! And from that day onwards, I have to live with a big nose. So if don't bag a nice girl in the future, you all know who's responsible.

2. I was state level athlete/ sprinter in school. I was highly respected in school for this feat. But little do the people know about the level of dedication that went into this. My mother claims that I started running when I was all of seven months old. In fact I didn't know how to walk at that time yet but I could run! No wonder then that I went to become a sprinter huh!

3. I was part of the gang in high school that planned the 'acid spilling incident'. We were bugged to death with all the nonsense 'educational' videos that were shown to us in the audio/visual room in school. So we decided to destroy the TV by pouring concentrated Sulphuric acid on it out of fun! Although I was not part of the execution committee , I witnessed the incident. However, I managed to get out without any trouble while my friends faced a week of suspension. The school also bought itself a brand new LG TV out of the money shelled as fine from my poor friends' parents' pockets.

4. I once went to athletic practice without wearing my athletic shorts. I had on my track pants but had totally forgotten my shorts as I was in a hurry. After warm up, our coach asked us to put on spikes as we had time trials. Without thinking, I donned my spikes and then pulled down my track pants as usual. And to my horror, I had on no shorts. To make things worse, my senior (a girl) sitting next to me was putting on her spikes at the very moment. She was just speechless. I pulled up my pants in a flash and walked away embarrassed. I had to do all my workout with tracks on that day.

5. My first job offer came to me when I was still in Tenth. After I broke the national 100 metres sprint record at the All India National ICSE and ISC meet at Kuppam, Andhra Pradesh, the team manager of the Bihar team walked up to me and offered me a salary of 12000 p.m. to run for the Bihar team. I declined. After that, our team manager started fussing all over me and offering me all sorts of things like juice, food and stuff. Till then, our manager had totally ignored us guys and concentrated all his efforts on impressing the girl members of the contingent.

6. When i was still in the third grade, a friend of mine came to my house. He challenged me to a game of boxing. Being the man that I was, I stood up to the challenge. His first shot went towards my face and hit my spectacles (yes, I started wearing glasses from first grade itself). They crashed to the floor and broke in two. My friend disappeared in a flash and was missing for two weeks there afterwards.

7. That brings me to the story of how I got glasses at a very young age. When I was a kid of about three, I used to get so fascinated about the TV that I used to go stand six inches from it. My mom got so exasperated that she once tied me up to the chair with rope so that I wouldn't get any closer to the TV! Looks like she was a bit too late, I screwed up my eyesight anyways.

8. I very rarely show any aggression with anyone because I am strong believer in the principle of non-violence. My elder sister has been known to use this to her advantage as she knows that I invariably give in to have peace. Once I wanted to get hold of the TV remote to watch something on TV. My sister had the remote and refused to give it to me in spite of the fact that she had been watching TV for the better part of the day. I got so furious that I walked up to her and dragged her off the sofa. She fell on the floor with a plop. She was so shocked, she handed me the remote without any further comment. So guys, better not mess with me taking me for a docile guy!

9. (With inputs from Mojosrising) When I was in 9th grade, fuelled up with hormones and testosterone, I had a crush on a senior girl in tenth grade...mojosrising alleges that I proposed to her, but I did not. Sadly the girl committed suicide two years later (again speculations are rife that the incident took place after she found out about this fact.) May her soul rest in peace!

10. Once I got sooo high after a session of g#$!% that I actually (assumed that I could think faster than the speed of light says mojosrising) begin to think faster than the speed of light. So much so that even with my eyes closed, I predicted that the tubelight was going to be switched and lo and behold, split milliseconds later, the light was actually switched on by Tango. Can you believe that, you better!

More to come...

I tag Mojorsrising to declare to the public ten random facts about himself for the pleasure of his readers.

The Good Manager

Well I joined Nvidia and so far its been great. Probably because they haven't given me any work yet! But, anyway within a month of joining, I've already had four, five star lunches, two movies and Eagleton Golf resorts coming up next week. Well if working is really this fun , I really have no complaints!

Anyway, the purpose of this article is not that. I do go to office by car, which happens to be my dad's car, but he doesn't mind my using it , I've already scratched his baby twice, poor guy , so he's given up. Anyway, there was this evening that I left the company a little early in the evening. There were still a lot of cars left in the parking lot. As a consequence, it was a daunting task to back my car out of the cramped space. While I was still struggling, one of the managers, a one Mr. P (whose name I shall not divulge due to confidentiality reasons), walked into the parking lot. Seeing me backing out of the car, he broke into a sprint and was at my side in a jiffy. Then he started assisting me with the backing up of the car. I was pretty surprised, shocked even to see such a senior guy going out of his way to help me, a fresher he didn't even know. As I waved a thank you, he walked across and got into his Honda Accord, I think , which was parked next to my former slot. And then it dawned upon me, he feared for his car! He didn't want his baby to get scratched which explained the sprint. I broke into a broad grin and was laughing all the way home.

Anyway, Mr. P, all said and done, you are still great. I hope that one day when I am in such a big position, I still remain as humble and down to earth as you.

Romancing The Rain

Everything associated with rain is so romantic. The cool breeze and the swaying of trees just seconds before the downpour starts, the kiss of the first raindrop on your cheek, the earthly smell rising up with the first showers to embrace the falling droplets, the sight of a peacock with all its plume arrayed in a wondrous display, a girl dancing in the rain with her arms spread eagle and chin pointing heavenwards with those lustrous locks plastered to her face... oh so beautiful!

In fact everything is so rosy and heavenly that I feel it is my duty to shatter this myth. For all of you who didn't know, rain also brings to the dense forests and slopes of the Western Ghats wait for it... Leeches. And if you think we didn't learn this the hard way, check out these pictures captured on our 6 Megapixel Digital cameras en route to Brahmagiri.







Those are actually the poda of our very friend Bhattiem who daringly or rather foolishly (although we strongly suspect its the later) decided to venture into the forests of the Western Ghats in floaters smack bang in the middle of the south-west monsoon. I kid you not, these are real photos. If you are daring enough, click on the photos to view the leeches in all their glory.

Another group of trekkers consisting more of the fairer sex were outfitted in thick jeans, thick soled calf length boots, and double and triple packed woolen socks to avoid our sucker friends in stark contrast with our shorts and ankle length cotton socks. This incident was reported by eyewitnesses-

One girl whispering to another girl after seeing our revealing outfits: Are they crazy! Don't they know there are leeches here? Why are they in half pants?
Us to one another smugly: Duh!!!

Who said anything about rain being always romantic.

Disclaimer: No harm was imparted to the leeches in the shooting of these photographs. However, they were salted, tobacco-ed, bleached and ground to a fine pulp with a vengeance until every last drop of sucked blood was gleefully forced out of its slimy body after the shoot was over. And although Bhattiem probably fed an entire kingdom of leeches, we also bravely did our part by accepting some bites ourselves even though we don't get a Blood Donation certificate and free Tees from Rotaract Club for our benevolence.

Credits: We would like to thank all the leeches for patiently clinging on to Bhattiem's smelly legs and sucking his toxic blood for hours and posing for the photographs. We could not have done this without you.

Kingfisher gets it right again

Check out Kingfisher's smart reply to Jet Airways' Ad Campaign! Kingfisher's ad campaign have always got it right.

Courtesy: Creative criminal

Its all about the 'potato basket'!

Well, if you are in a metro and have cash to burn and are above twenty years of age, you must be going to Pubs frequently. Replace the 'and' condition by an 'or' if its applicable to you. Anyway, I'm one who prefers fine dining to the high spirits anyday, but my friends think otherwise. And the good friend that I am, I am often bound to accompany them on their nightly odysseys to mojos or pecos or mojos or pecos or mojos or pecos or mojos or mojos... the list goes on and on, you would think bangalore was strapped for pubs.

So this time, I finally convinced them to go a new place and we settled on LoR or Legends of Rock for the uninitiated. Personally, I like LoR better for its mango-bience (pronounce the mango in hindi, if you used to pronounce it as me-bience (replace me by am) then you have been wrong all your life.)

I order a peach schnapps just for the sake of drinking something. Now if you think thats a gurlie drink, I can't change your mind because India is a free country and you have the freedom of thought. There was a live band playing that night, I forget the name of the band, but the vocalist was pretty good. We order some dragon chicken and paneer tikka along with some drinks.

Ten minutes later,
I say: I say, let's order the potato basket.
Macee: Are you drinking some more?
I say: Nah...I have to go back home.
Macee: Then no need.

Five minutes later,
I say: Let's order the potato basket.
Macee: Are you drinking some more?
I say: Nah...
Macee: Then no need

Two minutes later,
I say: Umm, shall we order the potato basket?
Modi: How much you want to eat man, if you are ordering another 60 then...
I say: Nah...
All three in unison (shouting): Then no NEED, go home and eat dinner.
Ok ok guys, I get the point, no need to be so repetitive.

Modee: Waiter, bill!

Waiter appears with the bill.
We all calculate our share of the drinks. We add it all up and the bill is only Rs. 24 more! We examine the bill closely and realise that the waiter forgot to charge us for the food! We were out the place in the wink of an eye, although it takes a little bit more time to wink when you are drunk. The waiter must have looked at the bill and the cash on the table and gone: aha, i got a fifteen buck tip! That's enough for a masala dosa and coffee in SLV (a fast food restaurant known for its dosas and coffee)! Wait till he realises he has to pay two fifty bucks to pay for our food from his own pocket. We dash out of the parking lot with tinted windows of our car all rolled up.

Once we are out of danger from any any hand thrown projectiles from the waiter,
I say triumphantly: you guys, we should have had the potato basket, we would not have got charged
with an I-told-you-so glint in my eye.

So you agree with me that LoR is better than mojos or pecos?