The 'green stuff' cycle

I knew about this thing called Mutual Funds that existed all along, but I didn't know what exactly what it was. My friend introduced me to it and I have to say that it did impress me quite a bit. By collecting and managing the funds of a large number of people and investing the funds in the growing Indian stock market, they provide very good returns on your money. Although, you are never assured of the returns, assuming that you do some research and invest in the top performing fund houses, you can more than triple your money invested in about three years time. But it of course entails having to put away your money for three years time.

And what happens when you get the money three years later? The temptation is very great to invest this money once again and triple that three years from then. And you are caught in the vicious cycle of making more money and seeing it multiply forever. While it is prudent to save for the rainy day, don't make it a habit of going like a rabid dog with your salivating tongue hanging down behind the green stuff.

And for those of you with a little bit of patriotism left in you, remember that India will prosper as an economy only when the purchasing power of its citizens increases or if we buy more with our money. So don't just grow a money plant in your compound, enjoy its fruits too before the plant finally withers and dies.

Ten Random Things About me that you SHOULD know

1. When I was still about five months old, my sister apparently got jealous that I was getting all the attention in the house. All the guests were all clucking their tongues and making all the cooing sounds at the crib to make me smile. One day, she walked up to my crib and and bit my nose! And from that day onwards, I have to live with a big nose. So if don't bag a nice girl in the future, you all know who's responsible.

2. I was state level athlete/ sprinter in school. I was highly respected in school for this feat. But little do the people know about the level of dedication that went into this. My mother claims that I started running when I was all of seven months old. In fact I didn't know how to walk at that time yet but I could run! No wonder then that I went to become a sprinter huh!

3. I was part of the gang in high school that planned the 'acid spilling incident'. We were bugged to death with all the nonsense 'educational' videos that were shown to us in the audio/visual room in school. So we decided to destroy the TV by pouring concentrated Sulphuric acid on it out of fun! Although I was not part of the execution committee , I witnessed the incident. However, I managed to get out without any trouble while my friends faced a week of suspension. The school also bought itself a brand new LG TV out of the money shelled as fine from my poor friends' parents' pockets.

4. I once went to athletic practice without wearing my athletic shorts. I had on my track pants but had totally forgotten my shorts as I was in a hurry. After warm up, our coach asked us to put on spikes as we had time trials. Without thinking, I donned my spikes and then pulled down my track pants as usual. And to my horror, I had on no shorts. To make things worse, my senior (a girl) sitting next to me was putting on her spikes at the very moment. She was just speechless. I pulled up my pants in a flash and walked away embarrassed. I had to do all my workout with tracks on that day.

5. My first job offer came to me when I was still in Tenth. After I broke the national 100 metres sprint record at the All India National ICSE and ISC meet at Kuppam, Andhra Pradesh, the team manager of the Bihar team walked up to me and offered me a salary of 12000 p.m. to run for the Bihar team. I declined. After that, our team manager started fussing all over me and offering me all sorts of things like juice, food and stuff. Till then, our manager had totally ignored us guys and concentrated all his efforts on impressing the girl members of the contingent.

6. When i was still in the third grade, a friend of mine came to my house. He challenged me to a game of boxing. Being the man that I was, I stood up to the challenge. His first shot went towards my face and hit my spectacles (yes, I started wearing glasses from first grade itself). They crashed to the floor and broke in two. My friend disappeared in a flash and was missing for two weeks there afterwards.

7. That brings me to the story of how I got glasses at a very young age. When I was a kid of about three, I used to get so fascinated about the TV that I used to go stand six inches from it. My mom got so exasperated that she once tied me up to the chair with rope so that I wouldn't get any closer to the TV! Looks like she was a bit too late, I screwed up my eyesight anyways.

8. I very rarely show any aggression with anyone because I am strong believer in the principle of non-violence. My elder sister has been known to use this to her advantage as she knows that I invariably give in to have peace. Once I wanted to get hold of the TV remote to watch something on TV. My sister had the remote and refused to give it to me in spite of the fact that she had been watching TV for the better part of the day. I got so furious that I walked up to her and dragged her off the sofa. She fell on the floor with a plop. She was so shocked, she handed me the remote without any further comment. So guys, better not mess with me taking me for a docile guy!

9. (With inputs from Mojosrising) When I was in 9th grade, fuelled up with hormones and testosterone, I had a crush on a senior girl in tenth grade...mojosrising alleges that I proposed to her, but I did not. Sadly the girl committed suicide two years later (again speculations are rife that the incident took place after she found out about this fact.) May her soul rest in peace!

10. Once I got sooo high after a session of g#$!% that I actually (assumed that I could think faster than the speed of light says mojosrising) begin to think faster than the speed of light. So much so that even with my eyes closed, I predicted that the tubelight was going to be switched and lo and behold, split milliseconds later, the light was actually switched on by Tango. Can you believe that, you better!

More to come...

I tag Mojorsrising to declare to the public ten random facts about himself for the pleasure of his readers.

To my handful of viewers, announcing the premiere of 'Ten random facts about myself that you should know!', shortly releasing for Ganesh Chaturti! Watch out for all the action this holiday season.

A scratch a week on my Swift keeps my dad on his toes!

That's the mantra that I have been following for the past three weeks. It is said that only fifty percent of the accidents are due to a fault of your own. And, so far the statistics have matched it up. Two scratches (more like gashes) were due to the fact that I misjudged the width of the car and tried to push the car into a space where it didn't fit. In both cases though, I managed to escape only with the scratches and no hassles with the other party since these minor accidents involved parked cars whose drivers were thankfully not in the driver's seats when the incidents happened.

The other two incidents were purely due to the over ambitious steering circuses of two wheelers. I agree with Mojosrising on this one completely; but asking everyone to drive/get a car is a bit far fetched. In fact going by the adage, 'If you can't beat them, join them.', I too plan to get a decent bike once the monsoons are over 'and' my dad feels he can no longer salvage his beloved car if he lets me take the car to office.

In any case, I have made up my mind to try and limit the number of scratches in the near future. Driving in the MG Road traffic can really get on anyone's nerves, esp. if it is everyday in rush hour traffic and you are tired out already after a long day of work at the office. Luckily, the Sony Xplod stereo rigged in the car helps to alleviate the tensions and make the driving a little less irritable. Its surprising how much you are dying to drive a car when its forbidden and when its finally allowed, it loses its sheen and you realise that owning a car is just over rated. The only good thing about it is that you don't need to wear a helmet which kind of atleast slows down your hair fall/ balding rate and that of course is a big boon for guys like me and Mojosrisng! Now I know why people get Mercs adn Skodas and then let their drivers drive the car. The pressure of trying to keep your car scratch free nullifies the pleasures of driving altogether.

Signing off with a toast to the Bangalore roads five years from now; and hope I'm not on it!